An Experimental Study in Sustained Repressive Psychosexual Behaviour [Digital Devil Saga: Avatar Tuner]

Serph had gone into psychiatry to fuck with people; while this did not always involve actually fucking them, with Heat, the latter was the swiftest and most satisfying way to go about the former. Someday, Serph swore, he'd write a paper about this one: An Experimental Study in Sustained Repressive Psychosexual Behaviour is his tentative title. Subject is a caucasian male, early twenties, genius-level intelligence, raised in a conservative religious family, motivated toward science by the death of his sister (footnote: to whom he was perhaps inappropriately close; discussion of early awareness of incestuous desire and its corresponding taboo), knees spread on experimenter's bed, obvious arousal in responds to sexual stimuli.

The most fascinating thing about Heat, in fact, was that he fell in for it every time. He was the exception that proved the rule, the 1% of white mice that never connect pressing the button and the electric shock. Under conditions where his inappropriate (c.f. earlier discussion of subject's Catholic upbringing) desires are available, subject becomes anxious, almost passive, waiting for experimenter to further the availability of such desires. Serph affected a practiced look of surprise (eyebrows raised, lips slightly parted, nostrils lightly flared), petting Heat's thigh; subject responds well to physical affection. "What was that, Heat?"

Heat's gaze fell low, lower even than Serph, settling at a bare spot somewhere on the bed between them. Subject is not emboldened by the verbalisation of desires, but shamed, and this shame is agumented by the request for further repetition. He reached a hand for Serph's bare hip, and when they touched, Serph noted the cold, clammy texture of Heat's skin. "Fuck me," he repeated, his voice a whisper brought forth only with great effort. "I want you to fuck me." Subject's shame at open acknowledgement at his desires fuels his sexual arousal, which in turn amplifies the shame, and on in a cycle.

Serph reached for Heat's hip in kind, knowing his own skin to be warm and dry (and that the combination of these two factors in a person's skin produces a positive response from those who make contact with said person), brushing the skin there lightly with his thumb. Now his facial expression changed to the look that said he certainly had not known all along that this was the culmination of Heat's desires -- eyebrows neutral, eyes still slightly wide, smile higher at one corner of the mouth than the other, chin tilted slightly downward. "Are you sure that's what you want?" Subject is possessed of violent tendencies, likely stemming from the strain of internal repression (footnote: subject's violent outbursts evoke a similar guilt response as his inappropriate sexual desires), and delay of sexual gratification will cause subject to resort to physical threats as a means of achieving sexual release.

"Please," Heat begged, reaching for Serph's face, pulling him first into a kiss, then rolling Serph on top of him, until Serph knelt between his legs, their cocks pressed together. When subject is the insertive sex partner, he prefers to mount the receptive partner from behind; when subject is the receptive sex partner, he prefers coitus face-to-face. (footnote: speculation on subject's previous sexual experiences and reinforced gender roles) He drew a jar from the bedside table without breaking the kiss and pressed it into Serph's hand; after some initial use and subsequent assurances that both partners are disease-free, subject no longer initiates prophylactic use.

With unwatched deft fingers despite how he knows he must otherwise seem as though he has never done this before (eyes half-lidded, mouth open, cheeks flushed), Serph twisted the lid from the jar and drew two fingertips across the surface, coming away with a dollop of the slick lubricant sufficient to permit entry, but insufficient to sustain long-term frictionless coitus. In this test, subject is presented with two unideal options -- endurance of discomfort in a sexual act, or vocalisation of such discomfort -- and made to choose.

Stimulus and response. Nothing left but to watch.

An Experimental Study in Sustained Repressive Psychosexual Behaviour, further observations

Serph settled back on the couch, letting one arm drape along the back, placing the other beside his thigh as though casual chance had left it there, palm-up, fingers slightly splayed -- an open gesture, defenseless, one intended to make the subject trust the examiner. The report composed itself in his head, and he took detailed notes. Subject is the same caucasian male as in previous studies. Location is the examiner's quarters; subject is familiar with location, yet has never been given opportunity to establish a permanent presence in said location. All items absently or purposefully left behind are returned the day after discovery, discretely yet in a public location, giving the subject the (if only subconscious) impression that the location is scoured after his presence. All familiar objects experienced at the location on subsequent visits, therefore, are not perceived as 'belonging' to the subject, but to the examiner.

Subject is, on the whole, both more passive and more submissive here: less likely to instigate dominance struggles, and more likely to capitulate to examiner's requests. Possible correlation to instinctive, pre-human memory; i.e., beta animal becoming more submissive in alpha animal's territory. Heat wore that smile he sometimes did when he was under the impression that what he was doing was especially pleasing to Serph. Tie askew, locks of hair falling into his face, cheeks flushed with arousal and satisfaction, he looked the picture of the dashing young scientist in love, knelt between his beloved's knees. Furthermore, subject is less likely to seek reciprocity at this location, except in the form of offering himself as the receptive partner in anal intercourse, which will frequently (though not invariably) follow oral-genital intercourse.

The zipper of his slacks rose slowly enough that Serph could hear every little click; he allowed himself to take his casually upturned hand and run it through Heat's hair, fingertips caressing the curve of Heat's jaw as they passed. Subject's orientation has never been explicitely discussed with examiner, though a brief discussion of past sexual history leads the examiner to conclude that subject is comfortably bisexual on a physiological, if not social, level (footnote: though perhaps overly reductionist in cases such as these, subject may be understood near '3' on Kinsey Scale; include discussion of scale's failings, highlighting lack of concession for orientation not based on gender). However, subject has had limited sexual experience in the past with other men, and as such may still regard same-sex sexual activity as particularly desirable and/or arousing. Serph let his hand fall farther down, rubbing his thumb along the side of Heat's mouth, smearing a line of semen and saliva downward toward his chin. "That was good," Serph purred, his recent climax making feigning breathlessness unnecessary.

Subject consistently responds positively to praise. Heat laughed softly, resting his head Serph's thigh and gazing up with a look of total adoration. "All right, so I didn't tell my mother about that." Subject's state of mind is particularly conscious of taboos and prohibitions associated with this act; earlier this evening, subject (in a telephone call, to which examiner was not priviliged) spoke to mother (footnote: connection between mother and sister in subject's mind? repressed sexual desire/comfort desire with mother?) regarding his recent sexual discoveries and sexual relationship (c.f. earlier discussion re: subject's religious and cultural upbringing). With a great sigh, Heat reached over and took Serph's hand, interlocking their fingers, squeezing tight, and Serph squeezed back.

"There are some things no parents need to know, no matter how supportive they may be." Serph's hand moved to Heat's shoulder, in what could be construed a comforting gesture. His mind made a rather unprofessional sidebar -- the world is ending, and subject's ridiculous parents are concerned that he fucks men -- and struck it from any further versions that might someday see publication.

Heat laughed again, desperate but somewhat calmed. He shut his eyes for a long moment, then, without opening them, whispered, "I love you." Subject's confessional mindset continues to influence subject's behaviour; subject perhaps feels that 'the hard part is over' (i.e., admitting one's sexuality to one's conservative parents is assumed to be more difficult than admitting one's feelings to a lover in an established relationship). Subject's pulse and breathing are noticeably increased, due to arousal as well as anxiety regarding examiner's response.

"I love you too," said Serph, quiet and sincere with just a hint of heartwearming surprise. Heat's eyes opened wide, and Serph looked down at him kindly. "Now go rinse your mouth out so I can kiss you." Consistent insistence on disconnect between oral-genital contact and oral-oral contact reinforces the idea that the former is somehow 'dirty' and capable of disqualifying subject from more publically acceptably affectionate responses from the examiner; even with this consequence previously established, subject voluntarily allows oral-genital contact to continue until recipient's climax, meaning that subject must make the conscious choice between sexual desire and affection, even with an established sexual partner.

"All right, all right." Heat rolled his eyes but smiled, pushing back on his haunches and standing. "But don't you go anywhere." Subject is visibly physically aroused, and indeed displays himself in such a way as to make the examiner aware; such exhibitionist behaviour is recent, and likely correlates to an increased confidence regarding sexual manners. Heat staggered off to the bathroom, clipping his shoulder against the corner of a wall, movements similar to those displayed when intoxicated; Serph heard the door shut and the faucet run.

Serph had known for a long time now that it would happen, though he had not begun to construct the full preparations for the reveal. Fate, however, seemed not only to be pushing events ahead of schedule, but to have a vested interest in making sure Serph never let himself grow too complacent. Nonetheless, there was one thing he excelled at above all others, and that was improvisation.

After a long moment -- far too long for the simple activity of washing semen from one's mouth -- Heat emerged from the bathroom with a stricken look on his face; where earlier his features had been flushed, they now appeared a ghastly pale. Per earlier discussion and subsequent discontinuation of prophylactic use between subject and examiner, subject struggles to put together any possible explanation for the appearance of three recently used condoms in the examiner's washroom wastepaper basket, save the explanation that makes the most sense (footnote: human mind is capable of great mental acrobatics to avoid the obvious; Occam had the right idea). "Serph?" Heat's voice was a weird warble, a trembling note that was the aural representation of the tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. "What's this?"

And now, thought Serph, setting his features into an icy smile, the fun begins.

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